In a recent episode of We’re at the Age, hosts Marjorie Moore and Melody Fox sat down with Dr. Maurya D. Cockrell, a death doula and founder of Leaves Speak Healthcare, to answer an important question: What is a death doula? From legacy planning to grief rituals, this episode is all about embracing end-of-life conversations with clarity and compassion.
“When I brought up end-of-life wishes with my family, my brother said, ‘That scares me,’” Melody shared. “And I think a lot of people feel that way—whether you’re young or old.”
What Is a Death Doula?
A death doula is a non-medical professional who provides emotional, spiritual, and practical support for individuals and families before, during, and after death. “We’re not doctors or nurses,” explained Dr. Cockrell. “We’re part of the care team—like hospice or palliative care—but we focus on education, legacy, and emotional support.”
Whether someone is actively dying or just planning ahead, a death doula helps navigate conversations that many of us avoid until it’s too late.
Why People Fear Death Doulas—And Why They Shouldn’t
“I get strange looks when I say I’m a death doula,” Maurya admitted. “People hear the word ‘death’ and assume I’m wearing a Grim Reaper robe.”
Melody added with a laugh, “For the record—Maurya is not wearing a hooded cloak or carrying a sickle! She’s one of the warmest people we know!” That’s true for most death doulas.
One major misconception is that death doulas are only for the dying. But many work with healthy individuals who want to plan ahead—especially solo agers, adult children caring for parents, or anyone preparing a legacy.
The Power of Legacy Planning
So what does a death doula actually do?
Maurya described helping families with everything from writing obituaries to creating family cookbooks based on Grandma’s recipes. “Tasting a bite of that pie is like, ‘Okay, it’s not like yours, Mimi, but it’s still pretty good,’” she said. “Legacy can be as simple as a recipe or as big as a memory book.”
Other offerings might include:
- Grief rituals like writing letters or setting a dinner plate for a loved one
- Memory boxes filled with meaningful mementos
- Facilitating family conversations to reduce stress and conflict
How Much Does a Death Doula Cost?
Dr. Cockrell explained that most death doulas offer affordable hourly or package pricing, often on a sliding scale. “Some services start around $35 an hour, while more complex packages like funeral planning or cookbook design can cost $150–$1,000,” she said. “Most of us are in this work to help—not to profit.”
How Death Doulas Change Our Perspective
“This work has changed me,” Maurya shared. “I’ve written my own obituary, planned my memorial, and picked my playlist. You can’t ask others to prepare for death if you haven’t done the work yourself.”
Melody reflected, “Death is ultimately just a part of life. It’s not morbid—it’s responsible.”
At VOYCE, we believe that normalizing these conversations now helps reduce regret and fear later. Death doulas like Maurya help families focus on what really matters: connection, comfort, and peace.